Originally published Sunday, February 3
This is the second time within a year that I have found myself under what seemed like a crushing weight on my mind, my heart, and my soul.
On the morning I learned my wife, Marcy, has relapsed with leukemia, I was calling out to Him with yet another of countless prayers that morning: begging Him for forgiveness in all the ways I have let Him down; begging for healing for Marcy; begging him for strength in this most desperate time of spiritual need.
And that was when I felt, literally felt the weight within me lightening and the tightness in my face that was pulling my mouth in such an intense downward arc ease: right when I concluded my last petition to Him with, "In your Son, Christ Jesus' name, I pray, amen."
Almost a year ago I was going through a similar moment while driving home from work. The stress was catching-up to me and I had gotten myself so worked-up from it all that all I could think about was releasing it in an angry tirade that was on pace to stew within me until I got home -- when it would have been all too likely I would have vented unfairly on Marcy once I got home.
My heart wasn't just calling out to God. It wasn't just crying out to God. It was screaming out to God.
The exact same calm swept over me. No explanation for it. There was no other possible source for it but from Him. At that time, one word entered my mind that also came seemingly from out of nowhere: "Temperance."
I was exceptionally tired that morning after work. And, those of you who know me well know that when I'm trying to make a point during a political or other similarly intensive discussion I'll get completely mentally roadblocked when I'm trying to express what's rolling through my head but can't find that precise word that makes the whole point I'm trying to make come together.
There was no majestic voice or other such hokey, pop-culture imagining that people ordinarily (or too often sarcastically) associate with the idea of such a moment. Just one word, out of the blue, that popped-up into my consciousness.
Fast foward to January 30, 2013, a very similar spontaneous calm washed over me right when I feared I was on the cusp of coming unglued.
To that, all I can say in response is, "Thank you, Heavenly Father."