Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Top 10 questions on the application to determine if you’re qualified for Head Coach of the Detroit Lions

Don’s note: What appears to be an ongoing theme of sports actually ends with this entry. I formulated this list several weeks ago after one amusing round of Sunday gridiron action. This past weekend’s follies simply presented a renewed opportunity to let out a figurative sardonic yawn while dishing-out more cheap shots in one setting than a Michigan Wolverine…

10. Experience: Have you ever actually seen a football?

9. Experience: Have you ever picked your nose while standing along the sideline during an NFL game?

8. Technical knowledge test: Is the number of quarters in a football game more than 3 or less than 5?

7. You’re not too embarrassed to admit to loved-ones you chose to come to Detroit?

6. Do you have a concealed weapons permit?

5. Can you tolerate petulant suburbanite yuppies?

4. Are you willing to pick a fight with the opposing coach after a bad loss in which you’ve clearly been out-coached?

3. Are you OK with the owners undermining you by letting the players whine to them every time you point out when they’ve made game-changing costly blunders?

2. Are you OK with knowing a 7-9 season likely will be the highpoint of your career?

1. Have you bought a Ford F-150 lately?